A New Way To Bleed
by Nova-Author
Summary: "Shika…I know your heartache…I know your suffering…I cant lose you after losing so many others, you're one of the only ones I have left and you mean far too much to me…when Jiraiya died I was in the same state that you are now…and it was awful, just remember…Asuma is proud of you, he always has been, and so will I…I'll be here to comfort you…I'll share your heart ache.";;
1. Heartache

** A New Way To Bleed;; Naruto and Shikamaru;;One Shot;; I may or may not do a sequel to this story, tell me what you guys think. It would be a NaruMaru fan-fiction.**

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** Shikamaru Nara's Point of View **

I was creating my own demise, tearing myself into little pieces, my being beginning to evaporate. I miss him, I miss the past. My heart was failing to convalesce, the blood traveling to my head and into my wrists, the incisions that were hidden beneath thick mesh material. The blood boiled beneath my skin, wanting to be released from the fine precision that were the cuts near my veins, letting liquor of crimson regret drizzle from the wounds. _If I protected him like he protected me, if I had saved him like he saved me, if I used his lessons that he taught me. It's my fault, and no salvation can be returned now. _

The seemingly concrete rain poured down heavily, shooting through jasmine leaves, though slowly drooling down slim branches and into little nests containing fragile baby eggs. _If the mother was there to protect her children like she was supposed to, her children wouldn't have died in this storm. She let them down, just as I have let down Asuma-sensei._

Fumbling with my pocket, lithe bronze fingers playing with a creamy, pastel box, a thin ivy stripe on the packet of cigarettes, little cancer-sticks that Asuma had used to place evenly between his lips and light ablaze, puffing away all misery and regret. Maybe I could kill my own suffering by filling my lungs heavily, maybe ending the breath that kept me functioning, maybe it would cut off my chakra. Under this tree, beneath dense layers of leaves, drawing a thin white stick from the concealing box, I would allow myself to crumble. Slipping the short, nicotine infused numbing-machine between my thin lips, the lighter that was buried deep within my pocket fell out, and I plucked it up between two, shaking fingers, then quickly lighting the cancer-stick ablaze, inhaling and then exhaling. _Five million tears I've cried…seventy pleas have gone unheard…tormented daily by your past presence. _

The smoldering, singeing puff rose, drifting into my eyes, briefly scorching the interiors of my eyes, causing them to tear up. _If I wasn't crying then, well, I am now. _Groaning in frustration as the smoke continued to char my dark obsidian eyes. The silvery, graceful puffs were making clouds of their own, moving like the ones that I had watched even more frequently, trying to distract myself from my misery and angst. After about thrice more puffs of smoke, I cried out in annoyance and pain, grieving over the fact that I couldn't puff away the pain,

"I knew it, I was going to hate smoking! The damn smoke gets in my eyes!"

Throwing the cigarette into the grass to be washed away by the heavy deluge, I brought my knees tightly up near by chin and rest my elbows on the hardened bone of my kneecap, hands rising to caress my face, nuzzling my nose between the fleshy cavern that was the crease between my two hands joining to cup my face. A large pit was created in my stomach, twisting and churning deeply into the thick walls of the tissue. A scalding pain in my chest became evident as I tried to breath, causing me to choke on my own subtle breaths. Each breath that managed to make it out between my lips was hoarse, strained, and tainted with agony. Little sniffles began to come out with the short breaths, before a strangled whimper gurgled in the back of my throat before completely losing it. Streams of salty, slick tears cascaded down the tear-paths they had form on my face from going down the same path each time I had began my melancholy meltdowns. The familiar surges of bitter agony that glided down my face, dropping gracefully with little splashes on my dusky pant-legs became relevant to me. _I still can't find what's keeping me here…_

The echoing, eerie taunting winds whistled in the storm before a quick, booming ring of thunder sounded nearby, a lithe flash on lightning flickering in the darkened cerulean skies, the heavy dark gray and light gray clouds painted heavily on the powerful nightscape. Another hush, cold stirring began, elevating the rustling leaves into the stormy skies, swirling on the wind's will to bring them higher. _Am I too lost to be saved…?_

Throwing my head back in an achingly sorrowful position, my eyes shot open, tears gliding off towards the side of my face, falling off the sides of my jaw-line. Arm jerking in anticipation of what was to come, I decided not to stall it. It was going to get what it craved so strongly. The wounds cried for the crave, and my soul cried for the deliverance. Scrabbling my appendages in the deep caverns that were my pockets, I finally snatched precisely what I was seeking. A thin, sharp blade that was once Asuma's, stained with his blood and my own blood, coated with my sorrow and his last breaths, holding my grief and holding his dying spirit. Leisurely moving my head forward, tilting it down to glance at my wrists and arms. Skinny, fleshy fingers slipping beneath the weaved top that coated the yearning, blood-lusting slits.

The first slice into the thin, paper-like sheet that protected my inner body, my chakra system, and spirit began to bleed beneath the silvery, cold metal. Deeper and deeper the knife plunged before I raised it from the deep, scarlet wound, mahogany misery splashing around the disfigurement. Inhaling, exhaling, the crave for painful pleasure was taking over, escalating as a hungry, yearning smirk plastered itself to my face. The hemorrhage was blissfully delicious, filling the desire for the distress. This was a new way to get satisfaction, a new way to bleed.

And it all came back at me.

_The clouds rolled in. Helpless, useless...that's all I was. And as I watched the final blow into the gut of my sensei, my best friend, my partner, I crashed down to my knees. No, I had to keep my composure. I was a the Proxy Commander of the Fourth Division. I needed to keep my calm. Sashaying hurriedly towards my former mentor, I began to let loose tears. Blood, cuts, punctures into his flesh, killing him. Only hardly breathing, Asuma glanced up at my broken face. And that was when I knew that I wasn't sleeping. Ino and Chouji had appeared, Ino was trying to revive our sensei, our teacher, the one who'd bribe us with things that caught our attention, th one who spent time with me and played Shoji and Go, the one who told me that I was so intelligent, and so smart, and that one day if I put my mind to it, I could become Hokage. I snapped out of the meaningless phase, but I looked down at him and brushed a few strands of hair out of his face before he began to speak. He was telling Ino about how my chubby friend and I were goof-offs, and how she was dependable and needed to keep us too in line. He also told Choji about how he was a nice and considerate man, and that he'd grow up to be a shinobi stronger than the rest of them. Finally, he met my gaze, a hoarse cough began his statement, and he had caught my attention, "And Shikamaru. You're so smart… and have great sense as a shinobi. You could definitely become Hokage. But… you're too lazy… You'd probably hate it. I never even beat you once at shōgi… Ah, yes… Remember our talk about the King?…" And slowly, my memory rang loud and clear, during our games of shogi,, Asuma used to mention about "The King". Saying quietly, "Yes Asuma, I remember the King, what about him?" He chuckled gently, "The "kings" are the unborn children who will grow up to take care of the leaf. One is still in Kurenai's womb… hers and my child. Take care of my "king"!" My eyes fluttered a bit before I took in the realization; Asuma's lover, Kurenai, was pregnant with his child. Asuma was entrusting me to bring up and mentor his baby boy, who I now knew as Konohamaru, my apprentice. His hand slipped weakly into one of his deeper pocket, bringing up his pair of chakra blades and putting them in my hands. He was also entrusting me with his beloved weapons. Before he was about to perish, our weakened sensei choked out hoarsely, "I want one more smoke." _

And that's where I am now. Hitting rock bottom as if it were a safe haven, taking on my mentor's obsession and habit of getting a pack, lighting them and smoking the days off. I was so close with him. There was a time when we just laid in the field, just our team, and we took a nap. I laid right next to Asuma, laying next to his left arm, resting my head on the bulging muscle that was his worked bicep. Ino had claim to his right side, though stayed pressed up against the muscled side as she slept. And well, Choji just kind of plopped down on his legs and rested there, basically immobilized the bronzed, hairy faced older man. He was more of a father than my father, Shikaku ever was to me. _But those were the good times…when I didn't have to worry about his life on the line. He was a father, he was a friend. I loved him and his company, and now he's gone. Now I'm lonely. I finally got to get along and have a bon with someone…and it's all __**gone!**_

Screeching out in pure agony, all I could feel was the liquor of crimson regret trickle down my arm, and the pain that my ears were in as my own terrorizing shrieks rang through the air, splitting the dense air like hovering thunder. Holding nothing back, loud, somber cries of terror and sorrow,

"Asuma!" I cried out, a plea for comfort, a plea for him to come back and make everything better, a cry to make everything how it used to be, a cry to help me make amends. All it did was cause an echo, the name could most likely be heard for a few miles in all directions, and at this point I didn't care. Taking the lighter from my receptacle, I pushed on the little chrome nozzle that made the fire blaze out, I held it up in the air, not caring, just wanting to express everything somehow. Little droplets and speckles of rain pattered onto the warm flames, causing steam to rise from the lighting fuse. Elevating a hand to my face, I cloaked it with the firm skin, collecting all the pain and tears, allowing my other arm to continue to bleed out onto the green grass, soon to wash away due to the rain. _I'd give up all the world to see him staring back at me. _

_I hadn't even gone to his funeral. I was at home that day, staying awake, examining, indulging myself in ways to seek vengeance for my beloved master, my beloved sensei. All black. Black was the only thing I wore. I sat there, for hours, maybe even days, on that roof, holding the burning lighter firmly next to me, cuddling the sheathed blades to keep myself sane. My vengeance worked out perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. I killed that monster, that dreaded, horrible thing that took one of my best friends from my grasp. That was when I had seen my sensei again, he appeared to applaud my work, my brilliance, and he passed down his jutsu to me as I blew up the fiend. _

I should have gone to his funeral. I know that I had slept by his grave at multiple occasions, like I was this very moment. I had laid there for hours on end, lightly stroking the gravestone, leaving flowers, and bawling. _And I can't live with myself today. _

Something snapped me out of my phase. A firm, warmed hand was placed firmly on mine, and I glanced upwards, my dark, slate eyes examining who it was. Eyes fuzzy from tears, I made out the blue eyes and the blonde hair.

"Ino…" I whispered gently, reaching my arms up to hug "her" closely. I succeeded in that, but there was just one little problem there…you see…

"No Pineapple-head…it's me, Naruto Uzumaki." Muttered the warm being into my ear, though the nice thing was that he hugged me back, "What's wrong Shikamaru…?"

What was wrong? What. Was. Wrong? How could he be so oblivious to everything around him. Asuma's grave, the flowers, the crying, the blood, and the cigarettes. Where did it not all add up?

"Well, I know…it's Asuma-sensei…isn't it?" the Fox-Nin coughed gently. His firm hands held my hips firmly and brought me down along with him, laying my body in his arms, he was cradling me like a child.

_Why was the boisterous idiot all calm? He would usually be springing everywhere and be taunting me at this moment in time. Wait…_

"I understand what you're going through Shikamaru…" The whisper was quiet and hush, and it held pain behind it all, he glanced at the deep incision in my arm, marveling at the precision and aim of the greedy cut, "Don't do that…please…I don't want to lose another friend Nara…please…" He seemed to be begging. My heart ached, swelling was all too much, his gentleness, Asuma's death, everything. "You're too good for this… you're a proxy commander, your IQ is over 200…you're the smartest Nin I know…don't stoop to this level…if I had known your troubles I would have been here to help you in a heart beat." The golden haired ninja slowly shook his head, tears welling in his own tear ducts, "I've already lost Neji…and then Jiraiya…and I lost Asuma…I don't want you to die Shika…you're my friend and I care about you…no more deaths…no more…" I was surprised that the blonde was in the same state I was in, and I felt the heat of his head bury into my shoulder.

"Shika…I know your heartache…I know your suffering…I cant lose you after losing so many others, you're one of the only ones I have left and you mean far too much to me…when Jiraiya died I was in the same state that you are now…and it was awful, just remember…Asuma is proud of you, he always has been, and so will I…I'll be here to comfort you…I'll share your heart ache."


	2. That Chapter Is Over

**Chapter Two;;That Chpater's Over; Yeah, I kinda decided to make a chapter two, plus the story wasn't getting views, and I kinda wanted to know what people thought and if I should make a sequel with a pairing of ShikaNaru.**

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_Naruto Uzumaki…?The fox-nin that I had known for so long, mostly for his rambunctious behavior and loud-mouthing…the one who had a personality that made me want to get up and follow him, and inspiration not to be lazy, though I still was rather lazy…how troublesome. _

The words that he were preaching had fully caught my attention, no more heart-felt words had been said to me in ages if I do recall. His sapphire blue eyes traversing over my dark hazel gaze. His attention fell upon the large, gaping slash that was engraved deep within the flesh of my arm. The surging river of darkened, crimson muck slithered down my arm, the drops still coming down in streams. His head shook is disapproval of my earlier actions. Raising his arms graciously over his head, he glided his thickened, carroty jacket, setting it down sloppily next to his slat colored pants. Sashaying his thin, fleecy black shirt off, only leaving, tight, thickened netting for cover, beneath the weaved cotton was a thin under-coat, which was a thin, pasty color.

"And you call everyone else troublesome, Nara, look at you…" Choked out the fox-nin, grasping his shed shirt, wrapping it tightly around the bloody wound, allowing the shirt to suck up the liquor that was released from the deepened slash. His eyes quickly darted back up to my eyes before he grasped his jacket, and against my own will, elevated my arms, slipping them into the armholes of the thick, warm sweater. Fumbling with the zipper, Uzumaki Naruto zippered the fleece around me, encasing me in a suave, gracious, chaste heat, he finally managed to stop his fumbling and mishaps with the zipper.

"How could you let yourself slip this far…but it's okay…we all far apart sometimes Nara…I'm here for you and to be your friend…don't hurt yourself anymore, you don't deserve it, you don't need to pain, trust me…" it was a hoarse whisper before I felt gentle skin pulsate around my neck thickly, bringing me into a tight embrace, snuggling me deeply against the well-defined chest.

"Naruto…" I mumbled gently into his chest, my eyes had lost too many tears to cry anymore at the moment. A speck of rain fell on my nose, and I noticed that more speckles and droplets began to fall and grace the surrounding area.

"Yes Shika?" the blonde-haired teen asked, gently stroking my back comfortingly. He seemed to really care about me, and that touched my heart. Or was he just being courteous..? _How troublesome. _

"Thanks…" I murmured, burying my head snuggly in the crook of his neck, relaxing a bit. I inhaled his odd scent. Not that it was a bad scent or anything, but it smelt like a tangy, fruity, coconut smell His nose was buried into the flatter part of my hair, more near the forehead area.

"Hey, Shikamaru? Do you use pineapple scented soap or shampoo? You smell fruity." The voice was kind of low, though there was a tinge of humor in his voice.

_Seriously, stupid questions in a moment like this? What a drag. _

I huffed before responding, "Yeah, I use pineapple scented soap and rose and sandlewood scented shampoo and conditioner."

"Well, that's an interesting combination." Chuckled the slightly older nin

Lifting me up surprised me, especially since it was a bridal style type of fashion. Smiling down at me, he offered,

"How about I take you to go get some flowers? We can go to his resting place, and put them there, just to help you make amends."

The offer was pleasant, but I feared of breaking down in front of the stronger, though denser-headed ninja.

"Yeah...sure…"I trailed off quietly, getting lost in thought for a few seconds, pouring my essence into the darkness in the back of my head. _Those times where we would just play shogi all day, or play Go. He'd never beat me…it was actually rather funny, but we wre always at competition, though I had to admit I was a bit cocky with my skills. But, I needed to let this all go. I had to do what Asuma wanted, and raise his son, Konohamaru, under my wing, and make him a ninja, a chounin like me. _

"Come on yah lazy-nin!" chimed the stripe-cheeked teen, his blue eyes tingeing with a bit of merriment. I had just realized that the fair-haired fox-nin had let me down to walk by myself.

We walked for seemingly hours, though we finally made it to the empty streets of the village. The rain was pelting the houses heavily, the pattering waking some small children, even babies, causing crying to ring from a few of the compounds, and then the sound of a mother's sweet, gentle, tender voice soothing the young nin or kunoichi to sleep. Kiba was sitting outside with his large dog, Akamaru, petting his fur gently, tangling his fingers through the creamy, course fur. His dense eyes wandered over to Naruto-chan and I, holding a confused look on his face, though he tried to ignore us and turned his attention back to his pooch.

Finally arriving at a little stand that was packing up, I tapped on the stand, and a blue-haired lady met me at the stand, saying,

"What are you here for, Shikamaru?" Her eyes wandered around before asking, "Where's Temari?" That was such a common question. Everyone had thought Temari-chan and I were in a relationship at the time, though in all reality we were just good friends.

"I'd like a dozen roses ma'am" I murmured gently. I never answered her question, because I didn't know. All I knew is that she gave me some flowers. Plucking some coins from my pocket, I slid them to her. Handing me the flowers, I nodded to her gently.

And then Naruto grasped my hand, caressing the inside of my palm as we strode towards the hill where Asuma rested.

_I had a new friend…a good friend. And these roses… but they won't help me make amends. _

The sky was still gray, smoggy and cloudy, the humidity drenching the air with extra moisture and heat. Vast currents of winds stirred against us two nin, stirring through our lose strands of hair. I glanced up and marveled at the strong ninja standing next to me. He was trained by one of the best, Jiraiya-sensei, who had recently died after my sensei had. He was powerful for such a loud-mouthed, blabbering fool. Though I'd have never seen this side of him before, it was a gentle, sweet…_almost loving side of him. _

The hill wasn't too far off, though trees enclosed the route that we were taking, making it darker than it actually was. Hoots from owls chirped into the voided darkness, hardly audible through the heavy, musky darkness.

Eventually making it to the tombstone, sandals muddy, toes caked in mud and grime. I knelt down feebly, gazing at the tombstone.

"Asuma…" I whispered hoarsely, it gave me comfort just to say his name. I stroked the lettering on the grave-head with my fingers, stroking across his name. Grabbing the bouquet with gentle hands, I rested it up against his grave, though I brushed some leaves away from the ground, getting in the way of where the roses stood.

Familiar warmth enveloped me tightly, bringing me closer and closer into diluted comfort, I sighed breath of relief. The strong arms lifted me, cradling me in a gentle lap. I felt lithe, debonair fingers tangle into the binding that was keeping my hair in a high, short ponytail. Being pulled loose, my hair fell down, it was about shoulder length, and it was being combed through by kindhearted hands. The warmth calmed my sensitive body, allowing me to trust the figure more. Melting into the close embrace, I allowed myself to crumble, come undone, and not care.

"Just like that Nara, you just need to let go a bit…and let lose, you need to de-stress yourself sometimes y'know…just because you're a Proxy Commander, doesn't mean you can't have alone time to yourself and become a bit looser and less apathetic. Even the strongest nins have emotions and feelings…" Those caring words buried their way into my ears, causing me to rethink a bit.

"Thank you Naruto…you're teaching me…how to become me again…I need to thank you for that…thank you for being there for me tonight and right now…you're a true friend…thank you."

He drew the embrace tighter, snuggling me close to his body, and I could feel lose, lukewarm tears stream into the crevice between my neck and shoulder, tracing the lines in my collar bone. Did I say something wrong.

"Shikamaru…I told you that I would stay here and share your heartache…I'm here to help you…I'm here to help me…we can help each other…I want to help you learn to move on, live on, become a more amazing leader than you already are. Thank you…for spending this night with me…and making me feel human again, instead of a killing-monster…instead of being a drone sent out to kill all enemies…thank you for kindling my emotions again…thank you for showing that everyone is human…."

I felt my own eyes begin to tear up, raising my arm slowly, I took my sleeve to his face and swiped the tears away onto his own sleeve, given I was still wearing his coat. Levitating both arms, I hooked them around his neck and returned the embrace,

"Thank you Naruto Uzumaki…without you, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself another day…I owe you my life."

"Don't worry Shikamaru...there is no past…I'm here to show you…that…that chapter's over."


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE IMPORTANT! 3

**AUTHORS NOTE;;**

**Hello there everyone! It's me, Nova. WOW! I never actually suspected to get this many views on this of all stories! Well, as most of you know, this was originally going to be a one-shot, which kind of ended in a two-shot, but whatever! I honestly think that the second chapter was better than the first chapter! Thanks for taking a look at it! I see that there are a good amount of views on this story, a few followers, and some favorites, but you see, no one has answered my question yet! But, I really want to know if there should be a sequel to this? A shipping of Naruto and Shikamaru. It would be most likely a Romance/Hurt/Comfort story, just PM me or send a review telling me if you want a sequel to this!- Love, Nova 3**


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